Major General Daland

There is a concert planned for Sunday featuring all the principals in the cast of FH and a few talented singers from the chorus. It is meant to be a promotional event for the opera. The baritone singing Daland told me he would sing the famous patter song from "Pirates of Penzance". Wouldn't it be fun, I thought, to include a parody verse pertinent to FH? Although Patrick has since decided to sing something else (and if you must know, it's going to be "O du mein holder Abendstern"), I decided to make up a parody verse anyway. I have to do something to occupy myself during those tedious staging rehearsals! To refresh your memory, W.S. Gilbert's original lyric goes like this:

"I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal and mineral", etc.

Further on is my favorite line: "Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense "Pinafore".

Each verse has lines of 16 syllables, in rhymed couplets. Here is the parody:

I am the very model of a gruff Norwegian sailor man,
I know my daughter's funky moods and nab a Dutchman when I can;

The maidens sing and sew their sails, the sailors wail their lusty song,
Then Senta croons a rousing tune -- this opera really is too long!

I can sing loud Hojotohos and like Brünnhilde make a din,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense "Lohengrin".

From Alberich to Wotan's spear in order categorical
I know the leitmotifs of every bit -- I'm ever so fanatical!

Chorus: From Alberich to Wotan's spear in order categorical
He knows the leitmotifs of every bit -- he's ever so fanatical!